I gotta tell ya, 13 months has been pretty challenging for me. She has been constantly grizzly and clingy, which I find very difficult to deal with. I have done my best to remember the lesson I learned the other day, to just let go of stressing about getting anything done and just be present to her – which helps and I think I have largely been the mother I want for her (with the help of a few deep breaths from time to time!). Sometimes it’s like she doesn’t even know what she wants herself – she’ll grizzle to be picked up, so I pick her up only to have her twist out of my arms, and then immediately whinge to be picked up again!
I know it’s just because of her growing little brain though, and I really do feel like she has turned some kind of corner developmentally lately. Just little things, but somehow they always excite and surprise me and make me look at her differently.
She’s starting to play little games and use her budding little imagination. For example, the other day I turned around and she was pretending to write on a piece of paper with a pen.
Later the same day, she started playing a peekaboo game with me – she crawled into our bedroom and shut the door then started peeking around the door and giggling and then shutting it again.
And perhaps the cutest of all, while Daddy C was away for a few days recently, she kept picking up her toy phone and going “Dad! Hi Dad!”
Her language and comprehension is really growing too. The other day I said to her “Shall we go for a drive?” and she lifted her arms up to me and said “Car!” Her latest word is “nana” (meaning “banana”). I made the mistake of showing off her new word to Daddy C the other night, and then she refused to eat anything for dinner except the “nana!” she could see on the bench!
It’s hard to explain how it feels to have her suddenly start expressing herself and developing her own little sense of volition like this. The best analogy I have is this – imagine you had a pet dog, and you woke up one morning and the dog just wandered in, opened its mouth and said “Good morning, sleep well?” Wouldn’t you feel like your whole frame of reference for this dog and who this dog was had changed? I don’t want to liken my child to a dog of course, but that’s the best way I can explain how it feels to me – this kind of taken aback, slightly excited feeling when this little being for whom I’ve had a certain frame of reference for so long (“baby”) suddenly starts to demonstrate understanding and expression that just yesterday she was incapable of.
This age is hard and it can be frustrating – but it is certainly also amazing to watch all these changes as she grows into a little person… a cheeky, funny little person!